TELL FEAR TO SHUT UP
Last Friday, while working I could not focus. For those of you that do not know, I work from home as an independent contractor. More on that in a later blog post for those who would like to do the same. In the middle of transcribing a lengthy file, I found myself extremely distracted by my thoughts. All I could think about was my new line of luxe natural body butters, IXXI.
As I continued attempting to refocus, I finally decided to give in to the still inner voice urging me to search for a vending expo, as silly and untimely as it sounded. In my search, I quickly happened upon an upcoming Holiday Stop & Shop not too far from me. Still, I kept telling myself I was just doing this for giggles. Surely, I was not ready for this sort of event.
However, I found myself calling the business owner organizing this event. The business owner happened to ask me what type of product I sell. When I told her I sell luxe natural body butters, she automatically let out a sigh of relief and says, “Oh, we need you!” I started to panic internally and thought, “What have I done? I’m not ready for this.” Still, I hung up the phone, telling myself I have not yet made a commitment and all is good.
I attempted to go back to transcribing and still could not focus. My chest became heavy, my stomach got hot (weird, I know), anxiety tried to creep up, I was uneasy and knew I was standing in my own way. So, I did what any sane woman in my situation would do. First, I called on God and simply said, “I know I’ve been asking for this, Lord. But NOW, really?”
Then, as ashamed as I am to admit this, in a last attempt to sabotage myself, I messaged my husband telling him about the event and asking what he thought about it. I say I was attempting to sabotage myself, not because I do not have a supportive husband, but because he has a lot going on and we happen to be going on vacation the week before the event, coming home just the day before the event. He is also supposed to be studying for an upcoming very important exam in his field of work. Committing to this event means I would also be committing him and my children to doing their part in making this opportunity a reality.
What do you think he said? He messaged me back saying, “That’s awesome! I think you should do it.” At this point, I was frantic because I had run out of excuses for myself. I called my sisters. One was working and the other picked up immediately. She could tell something was wrong. I laid it on her and she quickly stopped me and said, “Wait a minute. Do you practice what you preach?” I said, “Huh? What are you talking about?” She goes, “You mean to tell me you have all this wonderful, sound advice for others. You pour out wisdom in your blogs, and here you are letting fear have its way and stopping yourself? What would you tell someone else in your position? What would you tell me?”
What could I say after that? She was right! After thanking her, I hung up and registered for the event nearly with my eyes closed, not allowing myself to think twice about it and come up with any further excuses to forfeit this blessing. In addition to registering for the event, I asked myself what was really stopping me from officially launching my body butter business and creating my official website. Every excuse I came up with was weak. That night, I refused to go to bed until my website was complete. I broke night, literally. But I am so glad I did. You can view it for yourself at www.ixxibody.com.
Listen, I’m not saying I’ve achieved some level of greatness and I’m not saying this to toot my own horn. I am writing this with a spirit of transparency to show you that I am human and go through the same fears and doubts a lot of you face daily. I just refuse to let fear have its way in my life anymore. I’ve given it too many years of my life. And I will no longer allow it to steal my blessings. I may not have sold out or landed some major contract with a big name retailer or anything of that magnitude. But for me, this is huge and it is an indication of what’s to come as long as I remain focused and continue silencing fear when it tries to creep up.
I may have said this in an earlier blog post. My greatest fear has always been fear of failure, in multiple ways - failing my father, failing in business, failing at love, failing at life, in general. But I’ve learned over the years, you only fail when you do not continuously get up and try again. Many of the “Greats” we consider as being very successful “failed their way to success”. We only fail when we give in to fear.
Last Friday, I told fear to, “Shut up, and take several seats!” Since then, word about my body butter business has been getting out, I have had several sales, and each sale has resulted in amazing reviews of my product. I am overjoyed and also in awe of how faithful God is even when we allow fear to seem bigger than Him. I am so excited to see where God will take my business and how it will grow.
If you are in or near the area and would like to attend the Holiday Stop & Shop I will be vending at, see the flyer below. Today happens to be the last day you can purchase Early Bird Tickets at only $5 per person (purchase by midnight tonight)! Children under 12 get in FREE! Plus, you do NOT want to miss the chance to win one of our fabulous giveaways!
Tell me about some fears you have had to silence lately in the comments below.